Do one thing every day that scares you

Do one thing every day that scares you.

I have been stuck on this line for months now. I am not saying I am not afraid of anything… in fact… My list is fairly long when I sit down and think about all the stuff I am petrified of. But to actually do one thing that scares you every single day? That is difficult. It is not like I can switch off the power and light the gas stove with a match every single day. Or go find a spider to cuddle or something like that. So what, if I had to, would I do if it has to scare me?

Here’s the thing: our tiny human ended up in hospital a month ago and was diagnosed with Diabetes Type 1. I was traumatised. Well, we all were. Neither of our families have diabetes and it is something completely uncommon to us. So, after two weeks in hospital, crash-coursing diabetes and prepping for our lifelong real-life journey, we got back to an incredibly chaotic household – physically and mentally.

Everything had to change. Not only our eating habits and lifestyle, but also our routine. A normal day goes like this:

1. Alarm set for 2am to check sugar and inject if needed.
2. Alarm set for 4am to check everything is still fine.
3. Get up get dressed drink coffee shower brush teeth eat breakfast make snacks plan meals count carbs measure food weigh food… all in no particular order.
4. 7:15 am: tiny human’s sugar gets tested before his breakfast is served.
5. 7:30 am: tiny human gets injection according to the measurement above.*
6. 7:30 am: give child slow-releasing insulin injection.
7. 9:30 am: measure sugar, give snack.
8. 12:15 pm: measure sugar, give lunch.
9. 12:30 pm: tiny human gets injection according to the measurement above.*
10. 2:30 pm: measure sugar, give milk. The boy child sleeps.
11. Do whatever until 4:30 pm when he wakes up.
12. 5:30 pm: wash the dirt off the little creature.
13. 6:00 pm: measure sugar. Feed child.
14. 6:15 pm: tiny human gets injection according to the measurement above.*
15. 8:15 pm: measure sugar, give milk.
16. 11:00 pm: measure sugar just to double check.
17. Repeat numbers 1 to 16.

*All the ones marked with an asterisk scare the living shit out of me. Not once a day, but at least three times every single day of the week. Does it bother me? No. Not at all. I am conquering this fear with the best of hearts and pat myself on the back every single time – after I checked the sliding scale and the measurement at least three times of course.

My kid relies on me to do the right thing. He believes in me and trusts that I will do the right thing. And that makes me one brave woman.

Yours in strength,

Image from Mirror Mask.