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Birds fly. That’s what they do.


It sounds rather silly, doesn’t it? To ordinary people, it is obvious that most birds fly. But what if the bird forgets it is a bird? Then it becomes a horse of different colour. I am not saying the bird thought it was a horse, I am just saying the bird forgot it was a bird.

I did this blog post in 2020, which was the last one in almost two years explaining what my mind was going through at the time. Slowly after that, I stabilised a bit and took life step by step. You get so stuck in your daily routine, that you sometimes forget who you really are. Shit happens. A lot of it simultaneously. And that blows your feathers.

I felt caged in.

I recently went through a really tough situation that upset a lot of us. My mom, my sisters, my best friends, my husband… On top of this, the last of our three doggies died, and everything got worse. So, we ended up with an upset child as well.

My wings were clipped.

Then the most amazing thing happened. I rediscovered my support system. It sounds rather harsh to say you misplaced your support system, but sadly so, it happened to me. I read this quote on Twitter not too long ago that went something like this: Don’t give up. You don’t want to disappoint your supporters. I gave up, but thankfully my supporters didn’t.

During this time, one of my greatest friends and I had a conversation about my dilemma. She said to me: “Darling, you’re a bird. You always have been.” I pondered the idea and frowned because I did not realise where the conversation was going. Especially when we started talking about riding bicycles and basics like that. “You can still fly. you just need to remember how. No matter where they put you, you’re still a bird.” She reminded me about a time I painted a picture with coffee and said that every time she spills her coffee, she thinks of me. I swear when I spill my coffee. But I completely forgot about painting with it.

So, I painted a picture of a bird outside of its cage with coffee and ink. I guess you can call it a self-portrait. Parts of it are a bit skew, but that’s me alright. For I am a bird. I will remain so, no matter where you put me. And I thank my support system for that; my mother for loving her not-so-ordinary girl unconditionally, my sisters for their everloving support, my best friends for their eccentric advice, my husband for sometimes just shaking his head with perfectly timed silence. Without you, I would have been a horse after all.

Much love, your full-colour friend with feathers,

Frame mockup from Graphic Burger.

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