So, it’s been a while… Just because I haven’t blogged in ages, does not mean I haven’t been blogging in my head. I just, well, I just did not blog here. Or anywhere else, for that matter. And that’s all there is to it.
I have been up to stuff. Not necessarily all good stuff, but random little things that kinda took up a lot of time. I may sound like I am making excuses here, but I am not. Reading the last two paragraphs now, makes me realise it sounds like I don’t have a point…But I do have a point, I am just trying to get to it 😉
This morning I woke up feeling restless. I have this undying urge to create something, but I am not sure exactly what. A weekend or two ago I was experiencing the exact same thing. I picked up my charcoal and drew a picture – a bad one – of a tree. I only spend about 90 minutes on it, so the outcome was not exactly a surprise. But I did something. And that made me feel better.
Moments like these always make me fall back on plan F: Neil Gaiman’s Make Good Art Speech book my mom once bought me. I don’t read it from front to back, but just browsing through it makes me happy and feel less of a fraud. It contains so many valuable sentences that make me want to create something. Do something. Make mistakes. “Glorious fantastic mistakes.”
In this book, Neil Gaiman says:
That was the hardest lesson for me, I think: To let go and enjoy the ride, because the ride takes you to some remarkable and unexpected places
When I look back at the past two years, I sometimes find myself mulling over the lack of creativity and how much I have neglected my abilities to create. But have I really? I have a shitload of doodles that kept me busy during lockdown, an unfinished poem about my mother, half a novel I have been working on for more than ten years and some other unfinished creative projects I put away from time to time. Neglect? Sure. Nothing? No. I have something to show for it. Even if it is not worth sharing or framing or good use other than a firestarter when we run out of firelighters.
Somewheres in between the creative standstill, I did make something. I made mistakes. I created bad art. I created some good art too. But the point I am finally getting to is that I realised, somewheres in between, I finally found my purpose. I was born to create shit.
From the bottom of my new-found heart,
