count olaf lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events

  1. Lying: I understand if you have to lie temporarily because of a surprise or a really serious secret you *have* to keep, but if you lie to cover your ass, to deceive me, to make someone else look bad or ANY other form of lying for that matter, I shall scrape you off my list for a very, very long time.
  2. Eating with your mouth open: This just annoys me and I tend to get prejudice about your whole existence of being.
  3. Negative criticism: Criticism can be done in a positive manner, no need to be a butthead about someone’s work. Be honest and polite.
  4. Aggression towards sport: There is a reason we call it sport. It is great if you support your team and your friend supports the opponent and when you make fun of each other and laugh at their epic fails. And I completely understand if you shout at the ref from the side of the field and be disappointed when your hero loses yet another victory. Yes, get angry, shout your heart out. But to get aggressive? Nah. I don’t want to hang out with you.¹
  5. Failing to ask “please”: Now there is another personality trait that immediately causes me to dislike you.
  6. Failing to say “thank you”: ‘nough said.
  7. Failing to say “sorry”: If you were wrong; apologise.
  8. Breaking promises: If you have given your word, you shall keep it. Why make promises you can’t keep? If you are uncertain about your ability to commit, rather say: “I promise I will try my best.”
  9. Unfaithfulness: Everyone has a certain number of people or things that they are supposed to be loyal to. If you can’t be loyal to it/them, have the decency to tell them so – without nuking the bridge.
  10. False credit: If you don’t deserve the credit, don’t take it. If it belongs to someone else, give it to them. Simple concept.
  11. Abuse: Be it verbally, physically, mentally, sexually or any-ally other way, I think you suck. Especially if it is abuse against children.
  12. Tunnel vision: Let’s all give our opinions and agree to disagree.
  13. Racism: We all tend to have a preference towards a certain race. But never treat any race with disrespect (even if you really, really dislike them).
  14. Littering: You can take a bath when you are dirty, but when Mother Nature washes herself we are all up in arms shouting “Tsunami!”
  15. Disrespect: Just because you are higher in rank than someone else does not mean you should look down on them.
  16. Greed: Earn what you work for.
  17. Hypocrites: If you are standing for something, don’t lie down for something else.
  18. People who are rude to waiters: If there is a problem, politely inform your waiter and ask for it to be fixed. If after numerous unpleasant incidents during one visit, kindly ask to speak to the manager. If the manager fails to assist you, then only may you be rude. My advice: never piss off your waiter. I have heard some horror stories.
  19. Perves: These are the men that think they can call you all sorts of lousy pet names, talk about you loudly in a sexist manner while you can hear, hit on you while you are hanging out with a boyfriend or a hubby and touch you inappropriately – in public places! And then they get all mean-ass when you are rude to them.
  20. Opportunists: Especially if someone takes advantage of kind-hearted people.
  21. Death-teazers: You don’t go looking for Death…It will find you, eventually.

¹ an·ger [/ˈaNGgər/] Noun: A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.  VS  ag·gres·sion [/əˈgreSHən/] Noun: Hostile or violent behavior or attitudes toward another; readiness to attack or confront.

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